Montecito Mama

Some kids need Disneyland. But for Lucie, the refrigerator truly is the happiest place on earth. Nothing quite compares to standing underneath that bright halo of light shining down on all of that food, glorious food.

Lucie found Grayson's gift from the Easter bunny (a whoopee cushion) insulting to her delicate feminine sensitivities. Either that, or life with her father has made her respond in terror to these types of noises. Grayson, ever the big brother, is beside himself -- with glee, that is -- to have found a parent-endorsed, tear-inducing activity.

Open house at the Foothill School kindergarten took place this week. The carpet mats and paint easels brought back good memories, and I even used my baby daughter as an excuse for a few minutes of play time in Mr. Casady's toy kitchen. The regular classroom residents were on-fire to be at school at night, but we parents were just so proud to see their art and writing samples on display. When I proclaimed my pride to Grayson, he told me, "Yeah, it really took me a lot of brainstorms to get all of this work done." Grayson's teacher, Mr. Casady (see picture) traced silouettes of each child and it was the parents job to guess which was your child. As if there was any doubt which was the big-headed Wagner one!?!

A how-to video for those of you interested in a little self-improvement. This one is titled, "How to Kick A Ball," and is demonstrated by soccer superstar, Grayson. Students of the master should especially note the eye technique that is used to align the ball with one's opponent. Intimidations like these and more will be fully illustrated for you on a two DVD set for the low low price of $19.95 (+ shipping and handling). But wait, there's more!

I should have known that mischief was in the air this morning when Rob's car keys were recovered from the diaper pail and a pacifier found floating in the toilet. Those should have been my first clues. Instead, it took the shattering of glass and slow sound of gravel piling on the carpet for me to take notice, but by then, it was nearly too late; Lucie had already gone fishing. I arrived on the scene just as Lucie was about to partake of her sushi breakfast. Knowing that the future of the sibling relationship depended on Harry-the-Beta-fish being saved, I pried his lifeless body from her chubby fist finger-by-finger and did a quick body scan for blood leaks. Finding none, I ran into the bathroom and plopped Harry's floppy little body into a stacking cup filled with leftover bathwater. And then, just like the Easter story, Harry was resurrected! He lives! I'd like to say that no animals were harmed in the creation of this blog, but the next 24-hours will be touch and go.

Couldn't resist posting these pics, too. I especially love the one of Lucie, because it shows off her adorable leg rolls. No Spanx for this girlie!

Quotes from Grayson: When he woke up before the Easter bunny had a chance to hide any eggs: "I know why! We forgot to leave him some carrots. And let's put out this book about bunnies for him to read." Seeing giant urns full of jelly beans at church: "I just want to live here forever!" Finding a whole bucket full of eggs: "Does this mean I was the goodest?" Opening the candy-filled eggs: "Dad, you're going to have to have a big talk with the Easter bunny about all this candy!" Devouring the bucket full of candy: "I'm never going to sleep again! I'm going to stay awake forever and eat more CANDY!" Lucie was less enthusiastic about Easter, particularly when she tasted the bunny fur and discovered that it was neither made of marshmallow fluff nor coated in chocolate. Still makes a good picture, though.

I've just surfaced from a good book. I loved this book, every page of it. I was taken into its world, in anguish over the fate of its characters. I even composed an imaginary letter of recrimination to the author when one of the characters died and I was grief-stricken. The book I've just finished is called "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Piccoult. I'm comparing it to the books I read as a child that always sent me into another world. Not that Sister's Keeper compares to Sweet Valley High or the Caitlin horse series, but just as you can smell the flower scented air of the Secret Garden or feel the salt on your skin from the Island of the Blue Dolphins, you forget to breath the Santa Barbara air in 2007. Someday I'll have to return to my life. Or maybe I'll just find another good book. Got any recommendations?

I've always had an inkling that Grayson and his palette take after the Herrema side of the family, evidenced by his partiality towards anything coated in butter, cheese or sugar. My hunch was confirmed today in the Danish town of Solvang, when my boy tried his first Abelskiver. Drenched in rasberry jam and a generous layer of powdered sugar, three little dough balls are served hot from the fryer. You should've seen Grayson's face light up as the sugar hit his bloodstream via the tongue -- it was like he had just walked into his own surprise party. The three abelskivers quickly turned into none, and even the jam and sugar soup left in the bottom was slurped up with barely a dribble down the front of his shirt. The clincher? The sugar spike and crash left him drooling and semi-comatose for the car ride home, just like a true Dutchman.

Grayson finally got to move up his SpongeBob golf clubs from the driving range to the links yesterday. He's a natural! He can get the ball right up to the green on the par 3 holes. Not to be outdone by that most famous of youth golfers, he is changing his name to "Cheetah" Wagner. I like the sound of being supported by his winnings.