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Abnormal Traffic Patterns

After last night, I would definitely cast my ballot in support of widening the hallway to our bedroom. Or, at the very least, installing a carpool lane. What we actually need is a toll road to curb the traffic going in and out our bedroom door at 3 o'clock in the morning. Passage during working hours, completely free. Encouraged, even. Passage between the hours of 9pm and 6am, strictly forbidden. $10 fine for each violation. Those feet better hurt $10 bad before you consider walking through that door for a 4am foot rub.

My new bedtime routine will now include clearing a path between my room and each of the kid's beds, to make stumbling in the dark as efficient as possible. I'm training to do it without even opening my eyes, in a vain attempt to speed-up the going back to sleep process. The bruises are healing nicely.

I'll also be recycling any toys that have a history of performing their song and dance routines after dark - grandparents be forewarned. The irony of being woken up by "Rock a Bye Baby" (for the fourth time) is completely lost on me in my current state of exhaustion. If you happen to find that a Glo-Worm has been launched into your yard, still playing its snappy tune, it isn't ours.

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