It took us nearly 4-weeks to figure out trash day when we first moved into this house. By week three we were stalking for curbside trash cans like big game hunters in the African savannah. And still, our prey alluded us. "Where have all the trash cans gone? And isn't that a Paula Cole song from the 90's," we asked in our confusion? Eventually the trash pile began to lean against the house and prevent the gate from closing, so we used the last resort; calling the waste management company. "Friday morning," we heard, and immediately put Operation Trash Day into action.
Thursday after work, still no signs of neighborhood trash cans. "Maybe we leave them behind the gate, and the trash man gets it from there," we rationalized. "Or perhaps it all happens during the work day while we are away." But no, then our trash from previous weeks would've been retrieved. So feeling every bit the homeowner virgins that we were, we rolled those overflowing bins out for all to see. It felt as if every streetlight angled to highlight our trash; you could see curtains parting down the drive to stare and whisper. But still, the trash sat alone.
Finally, Friday morning at 5:45 a.m. we heard the tell tale crashing and crunching of the trash truck. We arose from our beds to check out the clatter, and what to our wondering eyes did appear? But a street side full of trash cans both far and near! They really do exist!
And then one-by-one, as the trash man emptied, the neighbors rushed out to put away. We had unknowingly entered some sort of neighborhood trash day competition; the neighbor whose cans are visible during waking hours is the looser. And we definitely took home the trophy that first week.
Rob's technique at the Double Bin Sprint has improved considerably over the past 3 1/2 years (Grayson and I are still in training), and we've moved up in the rankings. But every once in awhile our rebel spirit will surface and we'll leave those bins curbside clear through Saturday morning. Oh, what the Pleasantville neighbors must think!
The house down the street just posted a for sale sign. The motivation of new blood has all the neighbors carb-loading amid whispers of performance enhancing drugs. The apprehension of new competition and the anticipation of their confusion over this strange initiation puts Wistera Lane to shame.
Do you think it is too much to get "Trash Team Wagner" shirts made?
Thursday after work, still no signs of neighborhood trash cans. "Maybe we leave them behind the gate, and the trash man gets it from there," we rationalized. "Or perhaps it all happens during the work day while we are away." But no, then our trash from previous weeks would've been retrieved. So feeling every bit the homeowner virgins that we were, we rolled those overflowing bins out for all to see. It felt as if every streetlight angled to highlight our trash; you could see curtains parting down the drive to stare and whisper. But still, the trash sat alone.
Finally, Friday morning at 5:45 a.m. we heard the tell tale crashing and crunching of the trash truck. We arose from our beds to check out the clatter, and what to our wondering eyes did appear? But a street side full of trash cans both far and near! They really do exist!
And then one-by-one, as the trash man emptied, the neighbors rushed out to put away. We had unknowingly entered some sort of neighborhood trash day competition; the neighbor whose cans are visible during waking hours is the looser. And we definitely took home the trophy that first week.
Rob's technique at the Double Bin Sprint has improved considerably over the past 3 1/2 years (Grayson and I are still in training), and we've moved up in the rankings. But every once in awhile our rebel spirit will surface and we'll leave those bins curbside clear through Saturday morning. Oh, what the Pleasantville neighbors must think!
The house down the street just posted a for sale sign. The motivation of new blood has all the neighbors carb-loading amid whispers of performance enhancing drugs. The apprehension of new competition and the anticipation of their confusion over this strange initiation puts Wistera Lane to shame.
Do you think it is too much to get "Trash Team Wagner" shirts made?
Comments