Montecito Mama

Lucie and I were dressed in our heels and long beaded necklaces for an afternoon tea party, when Grayson and his green army men decided to join us. "I hope you don't mind, Mom," he said. "But there may be a little bit of blood on the napkins." What would Miss Manners say about AK-47s at the table?

A former English professor of mine has designed a wonderful collection of postcards called things like "Why We Read" or "Why Coffee is Important," and a colleague gave me this one today: WHAT BABIES BRING Late-night entertainment A new array of aromas Their own agendas A stuffed animal stampede A fresh look at family An excuse for earthiness Terrifying responsibility Gloating grandparents Smiles from strangers Suspicious siblings Large piles of small pajamas An ongoing reality check A reminder of mystery

"The most exclusive clubs only have a couple members and they're very hard to find." - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex & the City

Now you'll really be jealous of my friends. Tonight Karen searched the Internet for Ruby Slipper Cake recipes in order to surprise me with my favorite baked concoction at a pre-birthday celebration. I was both touched and delighted, and ate until another bite couldn't be managed. Ruby Slipper Cake (1) package yellow cake mix with pudding inside (1) cup sour cream 1/2-cup water (2) eggs (1) 3 ounce box of raspberry jello Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine cake mix, eggs, water, and sour cream in bowl. Beat two minutes or until creamy. Grease and flour a bundt pan. Spoon 1/3 of batter into bundt pan. Sprinkle 1/2 of powdered jello evenly over batter. Spoon another 1/3 of batter over jello layer, and then sprinkle remaining jello. Spoon remaining batter over the final jello layer. Bake for 45-50 minutes. Allow to cool in pan then turn out and sprinkle powdered sugar over top.

Parenting tip: Never send your babysitter to the pet store with funds for a replacement fish. Otherwise you too may find yourself the lucky owners of both a male and female guppy, and heaven knows we don't need any more breeders in this family. This is Mac (male) and Cheese (orange female), and so far each is exhibiting a healthy emotional outlook and amazing will to survive.

We lost a member of the family today. Harry the fish was under close supervision for suspicious behavior; his swimming and eating just lacked the usual joie de vive. Unfortunately, we discovered that a 24-hour hold (to use one of Rob's old ambulance terms) on a fish is a slippery matter, and the ordeal ended in tragedy. Harry Fish was discovered on the kitchen floor, not a flop or a flip left in his little blue body. Brief funeral services were conducted and a few post-flush tears were shed for "the goodest fish in the whole wide world."

No one has better friends than I. As proof, our family was allowed to spend the weekend at the lake house of friends who knew that we needed some time away. Boy, was it ever just exactly what the doctor ordered. The filling of baskets at the old-time candy store, 14 games of Connect Four, two viewings of "Hairspray," a night at Timmy T's pizza parlor, splashing in the pool, long walks through the foothills, and the complete absence of laundry, cell phones and Wi-Fi service. I think I found my happy place. The highlight of Father's Day was a road side stop at the Firestone Brewery in Buellton on the way home. Rob relaxed with a pint, a cheeseburger, and the last few holes of the US Open, and the kids were thrilled to toast him with their own pints of root beer and hot dogs.

Our annual tradition of celebrating the last day of school with a beach bonfire continued with a more intimate, but no less great, group of friends. Grayson and Gage were anxious to compare missing body parts, throw rocks and build a driftwood fort. Lucie just came for the chocolate and to be waited on by her adoring fans, Avery and Kyelee. Although I think she may have bought Walker's eternal devotion with a couple of Hershey squares - the international preschool currency. After a hellish week, I can't tell you how restorative it is to sit with the ocean at your back, the sun setting to your left and good friends chatting on your right. How can one not feel blessed?

Grayson shreddin' it up at the Santa Barbara skate park.

6:11 p.m. - Robbie gives Grayson's top loose tooth a tug. Tooth pops right out. The first one! 6:12 p.m. - Grayson bleeds through a paper towel. 6:15 p.m. - Grayson vomits on the kitchen floor. 6:16 p.m. - Janice vomits in the backyard. 2:23 a.m. - Grayson wakes the household up with celebratory high-fives; he found $5 under his pillow! 2:35 a.m. - Grayson wakes the household up with his sobs; he wants his tooth back. 3:22 a.m. - Still sobbing. 6:50 a.m. - Hey! There is still $5 under the pillow, AND the missing tooth! That clever fairy...

Peanut Butter S'Mores 1 Package Chocolate Wafers 1 Package Marshmallows 1 Jar Peanut Butter Spread peanut butter lightly on one side of chocolate wafer. Roast marshmallow over campfire, and then place on top of peanut buttered wafer. Place a second wafer on top and sandwich the goey mess together. Enjoy!