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Letter from Santa's Elf

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Life is Like A Box of Chocolate

According to experts, chocolate is now good for you. Feel guilt no longer; chocolate is actually good for the heart, brain and libido. Can I get an amen?  That is more than the permission the kids and I needed to visit Papa during his shift at the Ghirardelli Chocolate Factory. If you ever find yourself cruising down I-5 through the nothingness of Lathrop, do something sweet for yourself and pit stop at Ghirardelli's ice cream shop. At $5 each, the "World Famous Hot Fudge Sundae" will not disappoint. The smell alone is enough to get your dopamine levels rising, keeping travelers bellied up to the bar like alcoholics on a binge. Thankfully, you can't get pulled over for driving home under the influence of an over-sized sundae. Although, judging by the giddiness and volume of some of the pint-sized patrons, I'd say the hot fudge can definitely affect your judgement. Life may be like a box of chocolates, but in this case, you definitely know what you are g

Boogie Night

Nanny Lauren was married this evening. The nuptials were celebrated with twilight toasts at the Maritime Museum, followed by dancing and merriment. Lucie couldn't stop gushing over Lauren's beautiful gown and the flowers in her hair. She sashayed around the dance floor and twirled her own frock, pausing long enough to do the worm and bust a couple of moves. Grayson was annoyed with all of the glass tinkling and the kissing that followed, but couldn't be stopped once the dance music began. The boy owned the dance floor. The sprinkler, running man, Egyptian, even his moonwalk brought the house down. Lucie was worried on the way home, though, that her participation in the wedding dance meant that she too was now married. "My want flowers in my hair when I get married," she says. "But my want pink ones."

Waterboarding

Saturday night, 8pm. A little glaring. Shouting. Some getting in the guy's face. A revelation that his fingerprints are all over the crime scene. Bright lights and psychological manipulation. And still the suspect continues his tirade of undecipherable babble. In one last attempt to elicit a confession from the perp, "Bad Cop" Wagner throws Geneva Convention treaties out the window.